Astronomy with Kevin

It was just after midnight late in Sepetember. The air was cool and the sky was clear as Kevin and John trampled the long grass underfoot, to reach the center of the field they had just entered. Both were wearing thick, wooly sweaters while carrying long boxes with both hands. They continued without speaking, following the shaky ball of light on the ground that emitted from Kevin’s flashlight which was tucked under his armpit. Finally, Kevin stopped and gently put his box down. Then, pulling his flashlight out from under his arm, he turned to John so he could have some light as he did the same. John put the box down and carefully opened it up. Inside were a jittering collection of lenses and bellows. Kevin turned to his own box and opened it to reveal a long, antique telescope which lay next to varnished, wooden tripod legs.

“If you could warm up the sight for me while I assemble this…” Kevin said quietly as he delicately pulled the tripod legs out and lined them up carefully on the ground. John pulled out a small, metal tube and held it between his hands.
“I’m glad you invited me to come out here with you,” John added, while he watched Kevin meticulously piece together the tripod and telescope mount. His back was turned to John while his flashlight lay on the ground pointed up before him. To John, it looked as if Kevin were squatting over a small fire, the edges of his form highlighted while the rest of him was silhouetted. “I’ve always admired your dedication to preserving the classic equipment for observing the sky.”
“I knew you were the only one who understood me.” Kevin said quietly. And it was true. Kevin was considered a ‘loose cannon’ by the astronomy club they both attended every Thursday night at the community center. He dressed in suits from the Victorian era. Sported a walrus mustache, and his attendance normally involved some argument with another patron who’s points were pock-marked with terms like “sellout”. Once, as someone showed off their new Schmidt-Cassegrain Reflector with computer-assisted Altazimuth fork mount, Kevin snatched it and hurled it out the door. Laughing as it’s plastic body shattered when it slid down the marble hallway. Of course, he was thrown out by the community center’s security. The entire class stared blankly in disbelief at the broken equipment, as Kevin’s voice shouted in the distance something about their all being a ‘collective prolapsed anus’. John himself wouldn’t of paid any interest in Kevin if it wasn’t for a speech he once made about the importance of preserving and caring for older instruments, and how the act of finding the star was just as important as viewing it. Something in that touched his sense of romance with the night sky. A feeling that got him interested in the hobby to begin with. He felt that he was in the presence of a genius, and a decaying figure. The type of person who wouldn’t be around in the amateur astronomy world twenty years from now.


“Lets sit for a moment while we wait for the lenses to reach the environmental temperature.” Kevin said once his telescope was set up and level. “We can enjoy a libation from the thermos I had you carry for me.”
“Oh, that’s what it was for.” John replied, twisting his torso to look for it. He loved to hear Kevin talk. It was like a page out of a Sherlock Holmes novel. And the added treat of having to carry a thermos which he wasn’t allowed to know the contents of until now only enhanced that.
“Indeed.”
“So, what are you going to try to look for tonight?” John asked.
“Tonight my good friend, we will be gazing on the Andromeda galaxy located at the crux of Pegasuses brisket!”
“Oh, I’m sure that will look great.”
“Quite.”
“Anything else?”
“Of course my good man, We will look for Messer 13, the globular cluster which can be found nestled deep within the bosom of Hercules breast.”
“Oh, ok. we’ll be able to get a good view of that with your equipment?”
“Naturally.”

As they sipped their whiskey the brass telescope cooled. Eventually they pointed it toward the Andromeda galaxy. Kevin, being the only one allowed to touch it, was the first to peer through the lens. He emitted a small gasp of delight. “So beautiful. The delicate, pink mist that floats effortlessly through the heavens…” He whispered, as he took John by the wrist and guided him over to the telescope. John peered in awe at how through the cloudy edges, he could see it clearly in the center. ‘This is how my great, great grandfather must of seen it- if he were ever into astronomy.’ He thought to himself.
“Just the sight of it,” Kevin cut in, “Just the site of it alone inspires one to write poetry. Or paint the finest work of art…”
John was enjoying Kevin’s narration as he looked through the dusty glass.
“… In my pants.” Kevin chirped, trying to stifle a laugh which sounded more like a bird than a man.
“What?” John said, turning toward Kevin.
“Nothing my good man- and now! We turn toward Messer 13!” Kevin bellowed, and with a flair he spun the brass tube around toward the constellation of Hercules. There was a awkward silence as he hurriedly adjusted his lenses. John kept running Kevin’s last comments through his mind with disbelief. He couldn’t believe that Kevin would say something so out of character.
“Ah ha!” Kevin finally bleated. And there she is, in all her milky glory.” He hissed, guiding John back toward the eyepiece. John resisted. Though he leaned in toward the lens, he continued to look at Kevin with disapproval.
“Like pearls spread across a black tapestry, they gesture man toward notions of the infinite. Closer to the beauty of what our Gods have created.” John looked. And he was right. His previous feelings of distrust dissipated at the sight of what looked to be a million, glittering jewels bursting out from some unseen sack, and he told Kevin that in just those words.
“That’s what she said.” Kevin muttered, twittering to himself.
“What?!”
“Well, you set that one up!” Kevin said, covering his mouth.
“Jesus Christ! I thought you were serious about amateur astronomy!”
“My good man. For you to accuse me of not taking this seriously is an unforgivable offense!”
“What do you expect me to think? You’ve been making cock-jokes since we got here.”
“Calm down. Everyone acts differently when out in the night with good friends. Plus we’ve had some whiskey, which causes one to relax their social restrictions. In my case, my humor degenerates to the type of talk that should only be held among men. I apologize if I have caused offense.”
“Ok then. Fine, lets just continue.”
“Quite. And now!” Kevin announced, spinning the telescope around on it’s stand, “We will gaze lovingly upon Uranis!”
“That’s it.” John said as he turned and trudged through he grass to his car. Kevin didn’t follow him, he continued to stand at his telescope giggling to himself. A hideous giggle that John could hear even from the parking lot.