Bob quit

Bob wasn’t well liked around the office. He was pretty quiet and kept to him self. No one really disliked him so much as they didn’t have anything to say to him. He wasn’t invited to the happy hour’s and everyone dreaded having to sit next to him at the holiday parties. Eventually he quit his job and put in his two weeks. On his last day, everyone in the office took him out for drinks to celebrate- really just celebrating that they didn’t have to put up with awkward conversation in the break room. But they knew he didn’t have many friends so they thought they would give him a send off to make him feel good.

They went to the local bar and got him drunk, he was more chatty than he’s ever been and some in the group actually found him funny. They made the mistake of telling him so, and in moments of bitter-sweet, self importance some told him that they were sad to see him go. It was a mistake because Bob took it personally, and kept coming back into work when he wasn’t an employee anymore.

First it was because he had to drop off his key, then it was because he left a few things in a drawer at his old desk. But after he had run out of excuses to talk to the H.R. department he just plain showed up to stand around people’s cubes and make them feel uncomfortable. Most put up a good front- trying to make him feel that they really meant all they had said at his going away party, but others began to plot ways of cutting him off.



The fact that no one would go out to lunch with him should of been the most obvious hint, but he kept coming back. Then the woman at the front desk told him he wasn’t allowed in the building unless he was there on business, but he just hung around the parking lot. When the police were called to tell him he couldn’t spend his days waiting in his car for the employees to come out for a smoke, he just showed up in the morning with coffee for all the people who were pulling in to start their day. Something had to be done.

One day, when he was parked across the street trying to shout jokes about being a newbie to the new receptionist who was putting mail out for the UPS carrier, a small group of employees walked to his car. They asked how he was doing, and what happened to his new job. He was vague in his answers which lead them to believe he must of quit, or never showed up. He brought up the idea of applying for a position within the old company, which is when they brought out the big guns. They disbanded from the tight circle they had formed and revealed Kevin, Bob’s replacement.

Bob’s face flushed. “When did this happen?” he almost whispered.
“Yesterday. We pushed for them to hire for your position as soon as possible.”
“You guys were that screwed without me there?”
“Sure Bob.” Another replied. There was an awkward silence as passing cars hissed in the distance.
“Do you need me to train him in?” Bob chirped, suddenly perking up.
“We’re going to have to put him down.” One employee muttered to another.
“I can start right now, I’ll even share my old desk with him! It will be like old times!”
There was a click, and then the two barrels of a shot gun emerged from within the group.